Grateful Sunday

This week I'm grateful for...:

• A very special and important friend of mine, Lauren. She has been my rock this semester. We bitch and whine together, and we celebrate and laugh and watch Grey's Anatomy together. She's always there for me; she takes me to the ER when I need it, she makes me Easy Mac when I can't get out of bed and she runs with me. Not to mention that her relationship with God inspires me. Her personality and energy are incredible- you just want to be around her all the time. I'm thankful that God has blessed my life with her.
• The semester being near its end! We have four (ish) more weeks of instruction, then reading week, and then bam! finals week is here and I'm out for a month. I cannot believe how fast it has flown by; all the same, I'm grateful for it. I will be ready for that break when it gets here. This semester has not been easy.
• The warm weather we've experienced the past couple of days. The cold is so nice, but a little break is also wonderful. We had our first snowfall this past Wednesday, which was awesome! Funny how it can be in the low 20's during the day mid-week, and in the 70's come weekend. I'm beyond convinced that the weather here is completely bipolar!

I hope you have a great week!

Run Forrest, Run!

Today is the first time Lauren and I have gone running in over two weeks. UGH! That just sounds awful, and I didn't even say it out loud. She and I were both sick, and everyone knows that running in the cold while sick is not an excellent idea.

We looped around North Campus. Sort of. Ran just under a mile, and then finished it off by walking just a bit to get some more mileage under our belt. January 17th is coming up SO quickly. It makes me nervous to think ahead. I'm actually going to do this though. I want, no, I need to be a better runner. For myself, but also for my family. I feel like I have something to prove to them, even if I don't.

Ever since I was little, I was always the dancer in the family. My grandma, aunts, uncles and cousins would come see my dance shows, and we'd always go out for dinner afterward. It was great being the cute little one that everyone loved. In middle school, I stopped dancing competitively. I didn't have the time, and the drive to rehearsals was a bit longer due to our move. Since then, I've been the one that doesn't play a sport. Granted, my aunt and cousin have both run half and full marathons, so my running a half doesn't sound like that big of a deal. But it is. To me.

I'm doing this for myself. And for Lauren. I'll be 20 years old in just over a week [whoa!], and I don't want to look back at pictures and crinkle my nose at the face that stares back at me. No, I want to be fit and look like it. Even if that requires me to eat better and exercise on a daily basis. This is the time in my life where I get to be selfish and do what Michelle wants to do within reason. I want to be skinny, and run a half marathon. Here I go. Watch me succeed.

things i miss

• high school.
  i was so good at high school. yearbook, guard, band. i did so much. i had all of these little networks everywhere i turned. not once did i show up to an activity without knowing at least 10 different faces. maybe not knowing them, but recognizing them at the least. my teachers loved me, my work was excellent and i had the time of my life. i sometimes wish i could go back, mostly for band and guard. that was my world. those people were my world.
  
• being darkly tanned.
  it sounds so pathetic, but i look at pictures and am realizing how pale i am now in comparison! i love being so dark. white looked amazing on me, and didn't wash me out. not that i'm ghost white now, but i feel much more pale. being tan also meant that i was spending at least 40 hours a week at work. i miss my job as a lifeguard, too. and the people i worked with. all so easy going and fun. they're a huge part of why i look forward to summer so much.
  
• kurt.
  he's so damn far away, and i hate it. i look at pictures and wonder if it will ever be like that again. i think about whether or not we'll ever be able to spend our summers together like we've done for the past two years. i wonder if he misses me as much as i miss him. i'm hoping that this distance will teach us something; something good. i don't know what it'll be, but i feel like maybe this is a learning experience. i had a really strange moment yesterday, and it almost scared me. there are 56 days until i get to see him again. i just hope that everything hasn't changed.
  
• having long hair.
  it's been since the beginning of my sophomore year in high school that i had long hair. it's somewhat longish now (think a medium-long length), but then it was so long and so beautiful. right now, i'm trying to grow my hair out back to that length. i think i've become a bit too anal about things like split ends, and whether or not my hair is getting the nutrients it needs to grow. at some point, i'm wanting to donate my hair. the minimum length hair can be for donation is 8 inches. well, right now i have 5". only three more to go! that is for a foundation created by pantene. if i'm going to grow out my hair, enjoy the length for a bit, and then chop it off, i want it to do some good in the world. which is why i'm going to donate it to a charity that makes wigs out of hair [which will one day be my precious undyed and healthy locks] to a young girl with cancer. i've enjoyed my hair all of my life and would be devestated if i didn't have it anymore. i want to be able to give that enjoyment back to someone who has had it taken away by the brutality of cancer.

grateful sunday

This week, I'm grateful for...:

• Flagstaff having real seasons. We've been experiencing beautiful fall weather these past few weeks. I was sitting on my bed this afternoon and was in awe of what I could see out the window: trees, golden and rich in color and the ground flocked with crispy fallen leaves, all of which the sun was hitting perfectly. It was a definite "whoa" moment for me.
• Professors that are understanding of medical issues that arise, and are willing to work with you on getting that quiz made up. I always knew that communication was key- I had yet to realize how key it is, and when you're a good communicator, professors are more than the person that stands at the front of the class and talks for an hour or more.
• My Mom. She is always incredible, and the older I get, the closer we seem to get. I'm loving every minute of this. I can always call her, and she's there when I need her or even when I don't and she's there anyway. Friday, she drove up to Flag to go to a doctor's appointment with me. Afterward, we spent the day together having lunch and enjoying the crisp, cool weather. (I thought it was rather warm, but that's a moot point.)

Coming Soon...

The past week, week and a half of my life has been absolutely crazy for multiple reasons. Two trips to the emergency room. Missed a whole week's worth of classes. And just to ice the cake, lets not forget about the emotional rollercoaster I'm currently living on. I know I owe you an update as to what exactly is going on, but I don't have the energy right now. I got back from girl's night about an hour ago with a migraine and really would just like to take some medicine and go to bed. That's acutally exactly what I'm going to do.

Have a fantastic Saturday night, and I promise to be back tomorrow with not only Grateful Sunday but also the recap of my life lately. (I know, I know. I'm goin all out!)

Late: Grateful Sunday

I'm really not good at staying on top of this, am I? Life just tends to get in the way, I guess.

This Wednesday [er, um, Sunday] I am grateful for:

• God's Giant Hole in the Ground. Most refer to it as the Grand Canyon. I did a day hike Sunday with Lauren and her family. We had a beautiful time and enjoyed laughing at the people that decided to hike down the trail in Vans, flip flops, etc. without water--just their camera. It was rather hilarious.
• Living in the US, where if you have a social security number and were born in the USA, they'll treat you in an emergent manner. More on this later.
• Chick Flicks: the ultimate feel-good medicine. Who would've thought watching 27 Dresses would make one feel better? It does, let me tell you!

I know it's short and sweet, but I have a bazillion things that I should be doing right now. So folks, what are you grateful for this week?

Pups

I'm really missing Buster today. Not sure why, though. I'm going through definite doggie withdraws. Say that 5 times fast--it's a mouthfull! I know he's in a better place, free of pain and such, but I still miss him. He would have been 14 this week...I remember the day we got him. He was so happy to come to a new home where he always had someone to play with. That was 13 years ago. I don't know how exactly I remember that, but I do. Thinkin about you puppy dog.

Miss you.

[Late] Grateful Sunday

I realize that it's Tuesday, but I still wanted to do my Grateful Sunday, even though it's a few days late. So, here goes!

• I'm thankful for best friends that understand you backward and forward, inside and out, upside down, and pretty much every other way you can imagine. That handsome kiddo up there is my best friend and without him, I wouldn't be where I am.
• Birthdays! We celebrated Sam's birthday last night, but her actual birthday is today. Happy Birthday Sam! She's officially 19 years old. To celebrate, we went out to dinner at Oreganos (the best Italian restaraunt in Flag) and topped the night off with pazookie, but not after an adventure!
• Relationships. With people, with God and with the world. It's a beautiful thing.

What are you grateful for?

Inspiration

I've decided that in addition to this being a place to discuss my day to day life, I want to share my half marathon training experience.

Lauren and I did a mile and a half run tonight--the farthest we've gone in Flag! We definitely feel accomplished. I love love LOVE my new running shoes. Getting closer to our 3 mile goal. The rest of my week (training wise) looks a little like this: Wednesday- Step class and weights; Thursday- Aqua Sculpt; Friday- Swim; Saturday- run. I'm loving feeling in shape, or at least reaching my goal of being fit by the time I turn 20 (which is a few weeks away...scary!). The show "Biggest Loser" really inspired me for our run tonight. I do not want to end up looking like any of the contestants on the show, so watching it is a great motivator for my workouts!

So tell me, bloggers...What motivates or inspires you to push on when your workout gets rough?

Battle

you know you're exhausted when you're debating between cleaning up your side of the room, or showering and going to bed early. my room is a mess, but sleep just sounds oh-so-wonderful. i did some running today (like 1.16 miles, nothing intense unfortunately!) and some weights in the gym, in addition to carrying two somewhat-heavy boxes halfway to my room before a couple friends saw me and were willing to help. thank you, jesus, for strong and beautiful men! now if i could only find one to keep....

anyway. i think i'm gonna do a bit of cleaning up, and then hit the shower before going to bed by 9. i like this plan- a lot!

i hope you all had an amazing day!

[i say you all, when i'm pretty sure there are only a handful of people that actually read this. oh well.]

My new kicks

Long story made short, I'm training with my friend Lauren for the P.F. Chang's Rock 'N Roll Half Marathon on January 17, 2010

Here are the beauties that will help me accomplish that:

Asics GT-2140.

It's like a love thing. I took them out on a run for the first time yesterday afternoon. No pain my knees or ankles, which is such relief from my Nike crosstrainers I was initially wearing to run. Not to mention, the colors are pretty.

Like I said, it's a love thing.

Grace.

I'm currently praying that God will give a particular set of parents and family (not my own) grace and understanding in hopes that they'll back off just a little bit. It's just one of those things where I feel like screaming from the very top of the San Francisco Peaks (12,633 feet in elevation!), "I'm important too, damn it!"

Only, the hike is super difficult and I don't have the energy right now, not to mention the vocal capacity to be heard in Glendale. But I think you get my point. I'm irritated. I want to be considered important and adorable. Sometimes I feel like asking for the first (I could care less about the second, but that'd be nice too) is so much to ask, but all the same, is it really?! Not at all.

Just be praying for me, please.

Grateful Sunday

A family friend of ours, Jennifer, started doing this thing called Grateful Sunday on her blog awhile back and I really love her idea. Consider this stolen, Jennifer!

Today, I am grateful for:

• Having the opportunity and privelage of living in beautiful Flagstaff, AZ. Yesterday, we took a hike to the Inner Basin (which is near Mt. Humphrey's) and we experienced nothing but beauty. Beautiful friendships, beautiful creation and beautiful weather.


• Being surrounded by incredible people in my life, both in Flag and at home. These people make me laugh day in and day out, and we always have the best of times together. (Lauren and Beth, middle)


• Babies. My cousin had her twin girls, Allison and Emmily, this past Thursday. It's so often to easily forget what a blessing children are in our lives! In addition to Allison and Emily, I'm grateful for my niece, Susannah (pictured above). At 7 months old, she's growing like mad but is still the sweet, adorable baby girl that I love and adore so very much.

Wishing all of you a blessed Sunday!

Fighting the Distance

I've never been in a long distance relationship with a guy, or a relationship with any guy other than a friendship, for that matter. I've quickly learned how much I hate distance; hate having miles upon miles separating me from the one person who has ever understood me backward and forward.

Allow me to explain:
Kurt is in Idaho going to school, and it's been a month (as of today, actually) since I last saw him. While this breaks my heart, I know it's the right thing. That doesn't make me like it any more, however. It's hard to have someone that you care so much about be so far away. Not getting to see them on a weekly basis, or hear their voice, or feel their strong arms embracing you...It's tough.

The first week or two was pretty difficult for me; I was really missing him. The past couple weeks have been easier. We text on an as-constant-as-possible basis, aka when we're not in class or doing something like it. I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world; I'm glad we get to text so frequently. It doesn't make it any easier. In fact, I feel like the past week has been even harder. There are things that I want to share with him, but can't. I see pictures and get an ache in my stomach just because I miss him so much. It sounds completely lame, and almost like I have romantic feelings for this specatacular friend of mine. There are none, though.

Sometimes I feel like I'm not as important to him as I used to be, and to be honest, that scares me. I don't want this friendship to fall apart. I won't let it. But when your best friend is 800 miles away, it's difficult not to worry about things. Like whether or not he'll find a new best friend up there, or if we will change dramatically in being apart for so long and not knowing what to say to each other when we're together again....It's the little [stupid] things like that that I worry about.

So, to those of you who have mastered the art of long distance relationships, CHEERS to you. I'm still learning.

On the flip side...

There are always different sides to any situations, right? What happens when none of them sound like the right one?

Lets take a trip back to May '08, shall we? My parent's graduation gift to me was to be a laptop computer- of this I was fully aware. They let me make the decision; I got to pick out my machine. I picked the Acer Apsire 6920. I have a close friend who has one and has never had a problem with it, so it seemed like the right choice. I got my PC and was content, til October when my webcam stopped working. Not a big deal, right? Well yeah, until it couldn't be fixed. It wasn't impacting the way my computer was running though, so it wasn't a big deal. Over the next few months, more and more things stopped working. Windows Media stopped in January. Windows Explorer couldn't load some of my photos. In May, Internet Explorer stopped working. After numerous attempts to get it fixed, I get told that my computer is no longer under Acer's warranty. Talk about frustrating.

After a little bit of research, I realized that I still have a warranty under Circuit City. It got shipped out and was on its way to be fixed at the headquarters in Texas. I got my laptop back yesterday, in hopes of everything being fine and dandy. Well, it isn't fine and dandy. Internet Explorer still isn't working properly and is freezing up frequently. My personal favorite: Over night, my computer generated a password and locked my computer. Good thing I created the fingerprint log in last night or else at this point, I would be screwed.

So, what to do?

Option One. Hang on to my laptop and hope it starts working in the near future. (Good parts: It's free.)

Option Two. Put my laptop for sale on Craigs List and/or Ebay and take the money to buy a Mac. Good parts: I'd be getting it out of my hands. Bad part: At most, I'll probably get $500 for it, which isn't much and leaves me to come up with over a grand to put into a new laptop.

Option Three. Try to convince my parents to hang on to this laptop until the warranty runs out. They would really just use it for internet surfing; nothing intense. Maybe see if they can contribute a little bit of money towards my lack-of-working-computer-fund. Good part: It stays in the house and is still under warranty. Bad part: I wouldn't be getting anything for my computer and may potentially be emptying my entire life savings for a computer.

What to do, what to do?

lonesome

kurt is at his family's cabin in california.

megan just recently got back from san fransisco.

hannah is on the opposite side of the country.

melanie just got home this afternoon.

mark leaves tomorrow morning.

i don't really understand why i feel alone when there is a house full of people that i could talk to. i know that i'm not alone, but yet i feel like i am. in reality, i just miss my friends. as pathetic as it may sound, the longest it's been since i've spoken with any of the aforementioned people was oh, yesterday! like i said, it's pretty darn pathetic.

dan and steph's at home wedding reception is tomorrow night, and i'm real excited about that. also, i'll be seeing the schrock family on sunday. this weekend has it's high points and we're only one day into it. i approve, thus far.

due to working and super-cleaning my room, i'm exhausted. sorry for such a short post. i really ought to write when i have more time and energy to do so.

with that, i leave you.

good night

help.

i'm in a funk and can't get out.

i don't like this at all.

the feelings of being unneeded, unwanted, unloved, and discouraged are really not fun.

i don't know what exactly needs to happen, but i do know that a change is necessary.

something isn't going right.

because if it were, i would not be feeling this way at all.

i can't say that it's all two people's fault, but they both have something to do with it.

i'm ready for school to start.

like, now.

[oh, and to have my Mac and PC would be fabulous.]

i've got work at 5am. just thought i'd share what's on my mind.

You know it's gonna be a bad night when your nail polish starts to chip

I love days that you think are going to be cruddy because of the way they started out--kinda like eating a Reese's peanut butter cup. [Okay, never mind, those just stay cruddy...] My morning began with my phone buzzing relentlessly; my dad thought I had to be to work at 8am, when I didn't have to grace the FRAC with my presence until a quarter til one. I'm glad he cares enough to check on me, but he could've checked my schedule on the fridge and avoided a tad bit of drama when I got home from work.

Kurt and I have become more consistent on working out lately. Great, yes. However, today, I got halfway to FRAC when I realized that my work attire was in a grocery bag on the floor in my kitchen. Splendid. Not only did it make me ten minutes late for our workout, but also put me in a mildly cranky mood. It worked itself out as the day went on. We had an excellent workout, and my day at work went well.

Then, my nail polish began to chip on my right hand. Not a big deal, right? One would like to think.

After work, Shelby, Ashton (fabulous co-workers of mine!) and I went to Paradise Bakery for dinner before returning to work. I teach private swim lessons at the pool, and my first lesson for the evening went well. My student did excellent (she swam 25 yards consistently, which is HUGE for her). My second student of the evening was not on deck at 7pm, so I let my first lesson run a minute or two over. I began my second lesson at approximately 7:05; we have to be out of the pool AT 7:30, regardless of when we started, because we have a private swim club that pays an arm and a leg (read: hundreds of dollars an hour) to be in our water for two full hours.

The mother of my student was extremely upset because we didn't go 5 minutes over when we had started 5 minutes late. She launched into a tangent of all tangents, yelling at not only myself, but my co-worker Callie (who teaches this woman's younger son). We calmly try to explain why we have to be out of the water, and proceeds to yell at the swim club coach. She comes back to Callie and I, still fuming (I thought smoke was about to come from her ears), and continues to yell at us until I come up with a solution. She leaves; Callie and I go inside. The second the door closes, Callie is in tears, and I'm not far from them. I am so thankful and blessed to have a manager at work that I absolutely love, and who will back up her guards on a daily basis. That's all for my tangent right now, but I thought I'd share.

Oh, I also tripped while walking on deck between shifts and bit through the inside of my lip. Fantastic. It hurts and I have a puffy lower lip. It's quite attractive!

To finish this post on a high note: Thanks, Jackie, for always backing us up and being on our side. We love you for it. And Kurtis, thanks for making my night so much better. Your hugs and words of encouragement get me through.

Before I launch into more of what I'm thinking, it's best that I go to bed!

intense neglect

I think it's only fair to say that I've really been neglecting this blog lately. Okay, I've been neglecting it since April. In my defense though, I've been out living and experiencing life, so much that I haven't really stopped to think back and reflect on it, let a lone write about it. My goal is to make that change from today on. Even if it's a short post, I'll share a little somethin-somethin from my day with you guys.

Since April, my my my, what have I been doing? I'll give a mini-recap of each month, because I suppose that's the best way to go over the highlights. (Sidenote: My laptop is on its way to Texas to be fixed, so I don't have my photos. I'm on the family desktop and everything is backed up on the external, which is in the other room. I'm too lazy to move. I'll come back tomorrow with visuals.)

April. Wow. So long ago. I was entirely focused on finishing the school year strong, and making sure everything went seamlessly for the bridal shower on the 24th. Everything for the shower went well; it was beautiful and Kari loved it. The best part was, I must say, was the cake. It was beautiful and tasted yummy.

May. Finals week was hell. I hated it so much. Tests have never been my forte, so why would I expect them to be so in college? The non-hellish side of finals week was the opportunity to spend a lot of time with my roommate, Ronni. She had knee surgery early in the week, and was stuck with me and my packing as a result. I spent a great deal of time with two other special people- Sam and Sarah. These girls became my rock, aside from Ronni. The three of us (Sam, Sarah and myself) gell so well; it never ceases to amaze me. In the midst of finals week, I got my Water Safety Instructor certification (which meant a pay raise at home, yay!). Aside from the actual tests themselves, the absolute worst, most awful part of finals week was having my room packed up and leaving the place that was "home" for 9 months, and more difficultly, saying goodbye to Ronni. I told myself I wouldn't cry when we said "goodbye", but for those of you that know me, know that I cried. I have an important Ronni post coming soon.

I arrived home to an eager family. I must say that it was wonderful to be living in my house-home once again, not to mention being near them and my friends. I spent the two weeks following finals over at the Schrock's place. Hillorie had to return from maternity leave for the last two weeks of classes, and Jeff was still teaching. Some people call it babysitting or nannying, but to me, spending quality time with their daughters is far greater than any job. I had Susannah the first week, and then Susannah and Audra the second. I didn't think it was possible to love a human being as much as I love those girls. Those two weeks were a huge blessing.

Lots of friends and family members graduated in May as well. I love them and am so proud of them for their accomplishments and achievements during their time in high school. (Yea for Rose Bowl, National Band Championships, and a trip to the Inagural Parade!) To the Class of 2009, I love you guys!

A middle school friend of mine tied the knot on May 23rd. She's a month younger than I am, and being at her wedding was an out of body experience for me. Her wedding was beautiful in so many ways. In addition to attending the ceremony/reception, I helped get the reception hall set up beforehand. Gosh, I love anything wedding related! Kari and Lucas attended the wedding, and it was weird to think that two weeks from that night, they would be getting married too.

Somewhere near Memorial Day weekend, I began working at Foothills Recreation and Aquatics Center. It's my third summer there and I love it. More about FH later, though.

We had Kari's bachelorette party the last weekend in May. Dinner was at Ah-So, and because there was 8 of us, it worked out well. We made a fair attempt at going out dancing, but it crashed and burned rather quickly. The night turned into what felt like a high school sleepover. We pranked the boys over at the youth center, where Lucas' bachelor party was taking place. By pranked, I mean "Caution"- taping their cars, in addition to toilet paper and confetti. We went back to one of the bridesmaid's houses and had cake and played a few games, and finished the night (well, the term "morning" would be a bit more appropriate) off in the hot tub out back and having girl talk before falling asleep.

May finished off with me spending a lot of time working and getting things ready for the wedding the following weekend, in addition to house sitting for the Schrock's.

Wow. This post got pretty darn long. I know June is going to take awhile to write about, with the wedding and all, so that'll be done tomorrow or in the nearer future.

Thanks for reading.

Quickie

I know I'm real behind on posting anything here, so that'll come here soon!
Running out the door for a movie.

Have a great weekend, loves!

oh, midterms week

how i hate thee. oh well! it's almost over. tomorrow is wednesday, and i get to go home on thursday after classes. i'm so excited!

i cannot wait to see kurt. i miss him so much! i've been up here in flag for almost five full weeks since i was home last. it's the longest i've stayed. impressive, aye? i think so! but now i am going through withdraws from home cooked meals. not for much longer though! hooray! i just have to get through a journalism midterm and an advertising test, then my mind will be checked out and i can get the heck outta here!

i can't wait to see my momma. and the rest of my family. megan. kurt. dan. kari. katy.

i miss them all so much!

on another (very different note)...

I am proud to announce that Susannah Faith was born on Friday, February 20, 2009 in the afternoon. She was 8lbs, 4 oz and 20 1/2 inches long!

She is such a beautiful baby, and I cannot wait to meet her! Her family means the world to me, and are a significant part of my life.

Welcome to the world, Miss Susannah.

Well friends and family, it's off to study for me! I hope this Tuesday evening finds you all happy and healthy. Enjoy springtime!

<3

Oh so full of love...

this valentines day was the best i've had in quite a few years. being in middle school and high school always made it an awful holiday if you were single. i've come to the conclusion that valentines day is what you make of it. i refused to be miserable all day. so i went with the best option: to have a fun day!

i got to sleep in. i needed that pretty bad. sarah and i had talked friday night about going to see a movie, but to get to the theater we had to get our cars out of the snow. so sarah and i spent about 2 hours shoveling our cars out of the snow that surrounded them, and put them in a less snowy parking lot. we then went in and talked to kathryn, the RA at the desk, who advised us to get our movie tickets early. so, we went to the theater, got our tickets, and then came back to shower and get ready.

we went to wendys for dinner. very romantic, i know! we didn't want to go to a sit down place, considering the nature of the holiday. after that, we got to the theater and found good seats. we saw "he's just not that into you". it was such a cute movie. it'll definitely be one that i go see again and probably own eventually. the cast and soundtrack made it very memorable.

after the movie, we each had a meal left and went to starbucks. we returned to our dorm, changed into our jammers and gathered in my room to watch "a walk to remember". valentines day gives perfect reason to watch an unlimited number of chick flicks. towards the middle, sarah and i got to talking and ended up having a heart-to-heart the whole last half of the movie.

all in all, it was a really great day. i had fun hanging out with sarah and chrissy and not making valentines day any more than what it is. just another day! i hope you all had a lovely valentines day, whether you're single, engaged, or happily married.

<3

flashback

i woke up to a few inches of snow yesterday morning...now there's nearly two feet. i'm still crossing my fingers that we'll have a snow day tomorrow! school closed at 3pm today, so here's to hoping.

does anyone else have those memories that you can recall and feel like all over again? i had that happen tonight...whoa. talk about strange. i was talking about a particular event, and as i'm retelling it, i feel like i was right there sitting outside starbucks reliving the entire thing all over again. gives me the coolest but weirdest feeling in my stomach. crazy.

welp, i've got two tests tomorrow that i really oughtta study for. [still crossing my fingers for that snow day...]

good night, loves.

-M

RIP Becca

you are truly missed already.

your smile and energy lit up the tuba section for the past two years.

you're in a better place now.

RIP Miss Becca

we love you

Just when I thought this was all over...

I'm blog happy tonight. Don't ask why.

Fall season took a huge toll on my emotions. Holy cow. It was hard to watch the band on the field without me, and all things like that. Well, just when I thought I'd gotten through all of that "I'm not there", rough emotional stuff, winterguard season starts.

It's going to be the death of me...Why can't the school year be over? I want it to be done so bad; I hate dealing with all of these emotions. Jealousy is a bitch, and I let it get the best of me. But some of these feelings are legit jealousy and hurt.

Current state of mind: You never did that with us when I was there. Why now?

This is so hard...So hard. I wish I could just avoid it all. I know I can't, but a girl can dream right?

I'm gonna go read a book and take my mind off all this. Hopefully that'll help. Good night everyone.

an old piece of mine...

airplane

I couldn’t be happier. I’m fresh out of high school, ready to take on the world as me, Michelle Lynn.

My feet hit the ground running as soon as graduation was over. Decisions here and there, people that will disappear from my life forever. Like I mentioned before, I couldn’t be happier. But that was silly thinking.

Here I am, sitting on an airplane, flying to the other end of the country. It seems banal to the hoi polloi, but to me, each time feels like the first.

My nose pressed against the window,
Cool and hard at the surface.
Odd shaped buildings surround me,
Some docking planes, others lonely with emptiness.

I possess the reaction of a four year old.
My excitement is overwhelming,
The nerves still simmering in the pits of my stomach.
Speed increases,
coasting until the gravity becomes
nonexistent.

Soaring high above the world,
Oblivious to anything but the ground below.
Amused by what lies beneath.
Fascination and awe lingers in my mind,
Dancing with thrill.

My inner four year old crawls slowly
Retreating to the depths of my heart,
Until the clouds float in mystery beneath me,
Yanking the child out from within.

A child lives within everyone;
That’s how we’re the same.
Unique in how it is drawn out.
Taking flight just happens to work for me.

I’m really not at all sure where that came from. I’m sitting miles above the earth, and haven’t felt so inspired in ages. It’s the best feeling in the world. Knowing that one day, I’ll get to sit on a plane and get to do this for a living… Being inspired to write, and getting paid for it. I changed my major the other day during church, which was actually yesterday, but it feels like three centuries ago.

Clouds. What an amazing thing. I can’t even find a way to describe them. Neatly arranged, yet scattered throughout the sky. I know that doesn’t make sense or anything, but hey, a girl can dream right? I really just wanna go play on them. You know, see what they feel like. I imagine that they’re like moon bounces, or something similar to it. Like if I were to jump on one, it’d bounce. I can see my little self romping about on the clouds.

I wonder if Jesus lets you go cloud romping in Heaven? Because that would probably be the coolest thing in the whole wide world. Among other things, obviously. We could play games of leap frog, or in this instance, leap cloud. This may in fact just be me ranting on and on about life, but I don’t care. It feels so amazing to be writing again. I’ve missed it. If I could always be on an airplane like this, the possibilities for my inspiration would be endless. I guess it just goes to show what God is doing in my life.

Normally when Kevin talks in a church setting like youth group or big church or whatnot, I zone out and pretty much ignore him. Let’s face it. He gets very boring sometimes. Like really really boring. Smack my forehead boring. Anyway, since Dusty wasn’t at church yesterday and Brad is on his sabbatical, Kevin taught. It wasn’t what I would call earth-shattering, but it was still really good nonetheless. What’s interesting is that he gave us permission to zone out and just listen to what God had to say to us.

God speaks in incredible ways. I was sitting there in church, and my train of thought ended up somewhere near a reflection of my English 101 class this past fall, and all of the writing that we did. I distinctly remember getting my descriptive essay, and the feeling that I got, so I basically let go of the steering wheel of the train and let God take over. I’m astonished, amazed and awed. God is an awesome God. He put it on my heart to question why I wanted to major in business. Sure, I would be great at it, but I lack passion. I have a passion for being passionate about what I do. Obviously, I like, I mean, love, to write. Why else would I be sitting on a plane with my laptop open ready to watch a movie and end up cranking out new poetry?

The clouds are getting thinner, and becoming far and few between. It’s pretty close to being saddening. I always overlook the fact that it’s the little things like clouds that make the ride of life worthwhile.


-6.2.2008-

Hello, blog. Remember me?

Wow. I've had such good intentions of posting things on here for oh, a month or two. I'm so completely behind. Life has kept me busy! Where to start, where to start?

School. I'm back at NAU and in my second semester. I love it more this semester than last. My roommate chose to move to a different part of camps, leaving me with my own room. I can't complain much! I recently added my name and pictures to the biggest wall, and love it. I'm happy with the way it turned out! As of now, I'm still majoring in Journalism. I think it'll change for next year though. I really want to come out of college making more than $8,000. As of now, I'm considering Hotel and Restaurant Management. I would be in it for the event planning aspect. I don't want to be a typical college student that majors in business. That just isn't me. I've never been typical, and don't want to be typical.
Last week, I submitted my application for a Residence Assistant (RA) and had my first interview this morning. I'm confident that it went well and that my Wednesday letter will inform me that I have a second round interview next weekend. Perks aside, I think I'd do a great job with the position. The perks are lovely though--free room and board, and meals. That's more than tuition right there. So keep that one in your prayers.
I've found a "church" to belong to up here. It's called InterVarsity, and is like youth group for college students. We meet once a week in the science building and do worship, listen to a speaker and grow in our faith. I've made some awesome friends through this and have also become stronger in my beliefs. I'm so thankful that God has been blessing this semester! Through IV, I've found a girls Bible study that I attend Monday evenings. Getting to know a new group of people on an entirely new level has been truly amazing. I have really gotten to know more people this semester, and I'm so happy. Last semester I was kind of a loner.
One of my middle school friends, Beth is also attending NAU. She and I were real close in middle school, and though we kept in touch through high school, we have become close again this semester. She and I have always gotten along real well. We go to Zumba (the most amazing workout class I've ever taken-- it's high cardio dance, and it's incredible-- my hips never moved the way do now!) together, as well as IV.

I know one of you was bound to ask, so I figured I may as well adress it:
Romance Life. I don't have one. There have been a few potential guys, but nothing really worked out. And after the most recent one, I've lost all hope in the male gender. Except Kurt. (And no, I promise, we aren't dating!) Well, and my dad. My brother is questionable though...He's a high school boy. Let's readress him when he's a bit older, shall we?

Familia! They're doing well. Busy with life, as usual. I miss them sometimes, but we all talk enough so it's okay! I'm actually talking to my Mom now. She says hi. I found out today that my cousin, Renee, is pregnant with twins. I'm so excited for her! Her and her husband have been trying for awhile, so hearing this just makes me very happy. My cousins Taylor and Zach were up here today, along with Tay's boyfriend, LT, and my Aunt. They were touring the campus, about the same time as my interview and both finished within minutes of each other. I got to spend the afternoon with them having lunch, walking around downtown Flag, and showing off my room. It was great to see them! We had a lot of fun together.

Well, this has been a rather long post. Sorry about that! An update was much needed though! :] I'm off to put on my pjs and make some dinner. Have a lovely Saturday ya'll.

-M-

Slacker, much?

Hello my loves...

I realize that I haven't posted on here in quite some time.

I promise that it will change. Hopefully tomorrow!

A life update will be coming this way verrry soon.

Bear with me. Second semester just started.

I love you all dearly!