summer death penalty

since when is summer supposed to suck the fun out of life?!

things i miss:
seeing my friends (other than work people) every single day
summer romance flings
gas being less than $4/gallon
not worrying about college
living my life
doing something different with my days

is it supposed to be this way? no. gosh, i really need kurt to come home. i know that won't fix much, but just knowing that he's right up the street makes life a little better. although, with my luck, he'll come back from tobago being completely different, and his girlfriend probably has been checking his myspace for him. perfect. in a nutshell, i miss him a lot. not seeing him 5 of the 7 days a week is really messing me up. that's probably not healthy, considering i'm going to college.

i can't even sort out how i'm feeling. kansas man is still on my mind, and he needs to go, but he seems like the only one who sees me for who i am. too bad he's not attractive, or else this could totally work. and he has stiff lips. (making him not kissable) lately it's just like he's the only one that gives me the nerves in my stomach.

and then there's the boy. if he could only see what i see... problem solved right then and there. instead, i'm going to dance with him and flirt with him and pretend that i don't feel the way i do. i don't want to leave him either... i don't want to move to flagstaff because he's not in flagstaff. but i can't stay here. i just want him to realize that i'm completely in love with him, have him feel the same way, and then we can ride off into the sunset.

.....if only.

touching the sky

Conversation between myself and Audra Joy (2 and a half years old),
Me: Audra, would you like to go swing outside on the big swing?
Audra: Yes!
(Once outside and on the hammock) Audra: Michelle, I want to go superhigh, and touch the sky!
Me: Okay my princess!
(After a few minutes) Audra: I touched it!
Me: You touched the sky?!

Audra: Yes! It was soft and fluffy. Like marshmallows.

I love her. :]

Like A Child

The excitement of a young child reaches over thousands of miles, communicated by telephone. You can tell just by their voice alone that they miss you, and the sound of their voice, in turn, makes you miss them more than you could’ve ever thought imaginable. You hear of little things that happen in their day; your stomach twists in desperation. Desperation to see them, to feel them in your arms, to hear their laugh that the air carries from across the room.

It makes you want to be missed like that. You wonder if there is anyone in the world that can possibly miss you in such a way. What I'm taking away from this is the hope to be that person in another's life...

The girl that you can't go a day with out talking to; who's smile lights up the room; who has eyes that dance in joy and mystery; who has a heart big enough for the world to live in, and who has ears that connect with the heart to share in life's joy, pain and randomness.