an old piece of mine...

airplane

I couldn’t be happier. I’m fresh out of high school, ready to take on the world as me, Michelle Lynn.

My feet hit the ground running as soon as graduation was over. Decisions here and there, people that will disappear from my life forever. Like I mentioned before, I couldn’t be happier. But that was silly thinking.

Here I am, sitting on an airplane, flying to the other end of the country. It seems banal to the hoi polloi, but to me, each time feels like the first.

My nose pressed against the window,
Cool and hard at the surface.
Odd shaped buildings surround me,
Some docking planes, others lonely with emptiness.

I possess the reaction of a four year old.
My excitement is overwhelming,
The nerves still simmering in the pits of my stomach.
Speed increases,
coasting until the gravity becomes
nonexistent.

Soaring high above the world,
Oblivious to anything but the ground below.
Amused by what lies beneath.
Fascination and awe lingers in my mind,
Dancing with thrill.

My inner four year old crawls slowly
Retreating to the depths of my heart,
Until the clouds float in mystery beneath me,
Yanking the child out from within.

A child lives within everyone;
That’s how we’re the same.
Unique in how it is drawn out.
Taking flight just happens to work for me.

I’m really not at all sure where that came from. I’m sitting miles above the earth, and haven’t felt so inspired in ages. It’s the best feeling in the world. Knowing that one day, I’ll get to sit on a plane and get to do this for a living… Being inspired to write, and getting paid for it. I changed my major the other day during church, which was actually yesterday, but it feels like three centuries ago.

Clouds. What an amazing thing. I can’t even find a way to describe them. Neatly arranged, yet scattered throughout the sky. I know that doesn’t make sense or anything, but hey, a girl can dream right? I really just wanna go play on them. You know, see what they feel like. I imagine that they’re like moon bounces, or something similar to it. Like if I were to jump on one, it’d bounce. I can see my little self romping about on the clouds.

I wonder if Jesus lets you go cloud romping in Heaven? Because that would probably be the coolest thing in the whole wide world. Among other things, obviously. We could play games of leap frog, or in this instance, leap cloud. This may in fact just be me ranting on and on about life, but I don’t care. It feels so amazing to be writing again. I’ve missed it. If I could always be on an airplane like this, the possibilities for my inspiration would be endless. I guess it just goes to show what God is doing in my life.

Normally when Kevin talks in a church setting like youth group or big church or whatnot, I zone out and pretty much ignore him. Let’s face it. He gets very boring sometimes. Like really really boring. Smack my forehead boring. Anyway, since Dusty wasn’t at church yesterday and Brad is on his sabbatical, Kevin taught. It wasn’t what I would call earth-shattering, but it was still really good nonetheless. What’s interesting is that he gave us permission to zone out and just listen to what God had to say to us.

God speaks in incredible ways. I was sitting there in church, and my train of thought ended up somewhere near a reflection of my English 101 class this past fall, and all of the writing that we did. I distinctly remember getting my descriptive essay, and the feeling that I got, so I basically let go of the steering wheel of the train and let God take over. I’m astonished, amazed and awed. God is an awesome God. He put it on my heart to question why I wanted to major in business. Sure, I would be great at it, but I lack passion. I have a passion for being passionate about what I do. Obviously, I like, I mean, love, to write. Why else would I be sitting on a plane with my laptop open ready to watch a movie and end up cranking out new poetry?

The clouds are getting thinner, and becoming far and few between. It’s pretty close to being saddening. I always overlook the fact that it’s the little things like clouds that make the ride of life worthwhile.


-6.2.2008-