summer death penalty

since when is summer supposed to suck the fun out of life?!

things i miss:
seeing my friends (other than work people) every single day
summer romance flings
gas being less than $4/gallon
not worrying about college
living my life
doing something different with my days

is it supposed to be this way? no. gosh, i really need kurt to come home. i know that won't fix much, but just knowing that he's right up the street makes life a little better. although, with my luck, he'll come back from tobago being completely different, and his girlfriend probably has been checking his myspace for him. perfect. in a nutshell, i miss him a lot. not seeing him 5 of the 7 days a week is really messing me up. that's probably not healthy, considering i'm going to college.

i can't even sort out how i'm feeling. kansas man is still on my mind, and he needs to go, but he seems like the only one who sees me for who i am. too bad he's not attractive, or else this could totally work. and he has stiff lips. (making him not kissable) lately it's just like he's the only one that gives me the nerves in my stomach.

and then there's the boy. if he could only see what i see... problem solved right then and there. instead, i'm going to dance with him and flirt with him and pretend that i don't feel the way i do. i don't want to leave him either... i don't want to move to flagstaff because he's not in flagstaff. but i can't stay here. i just want him to realize that i'm completely in love with him, have him feel the same way, and then we can ride off into the sunset.

.....if only.