darkness

It all started with a game of Sardines (which is basically reverse hide-n-seek)...I was the next one to hide, but the boy wanted to hide too. So, we hid together. In the pantry. Mind you, all of the lights in the house are off, and everyone else is outside on the porch waiting for us to be hidden. Here we are, sitting on the floor of the, in total darkness.
He asks, "Is your heart pounding?"

I respond, "Yeah!", and tell him to hold up his hand, which I take, and place on my corottid artery (the vein in your neck) so that he could feel my heartbeat, which by this point is pounding. Out of not liking the dark and the anticipation of being found, among other things.
He says, "Holy cow, yeah, me too."

I don't like the dark. So what does he do? He takes my left hand, and holds it tight for the rest of that"hide out" and doesn't let go.

summer death penalty

since when is summer supposed to suck the fun out of life?!

things i miss:
seeing my friends (other than work people) every single day
summer romance flings
gas being less than $4/gallon
not worrying about college
living my life
doing something different with my days

is it supposed to be this way? no. gosh, i really need kurt to come home. i know that won't fix much, but just knowing that he's right up the street makes life a little better. although, with my luck, he'll come back from tobago being completely different, and his girlfriend probably has been checking his myspace for him. perfect. in a nutshell, i miss him a lot. not seeing him 5 of the 7 days a week is really messing me up. that's probably not healthy, considering i'm going to college.

i can't even sort out how i'm feeling. kansas man is still on my mind, and he needs to go, but he seems like the only one who sees me for who i am. too bad he's not attractive, or else this could totally work. and he has stiff lips. (making him not kissable) lately it's just like he's the only one that gives me the nerves in my stomach.

and then there's the boy. if he could only see what i see... problem solved right then and there. instead, i'm going to dance with him and flirt with him and pretend that i don't feel the way i do. i don't want to leave him either... i don't want to move to flagstaff because he's not in flagstaff. but i can't stay here. i just want him to realize that i'm completely in love with him, have him feel the same way, and then we can ride off into the sunset.

.....if only.

touching the sky

Conversation between myself and Audra Joy (2 and a half years old),
Me: Audra, would you like to go swing outside on the big swing?
Audra: Yes!
(Once outside and on the hammock) Audra: Michelle, I want to go superhigh, and touch the sky!
Me: Okay my princess!
(After a few minutes) Audra: I touched it!
Me: You touched the sky?!

Audra: Yes! It was soft and fluffy. Like marshmallows.

I love her. :]

Like A Child

The excitement of a young child reaches over thousands of miles, communicated by telephone. You can tell just by their voice alone that they miss you, and the sound of their voice, in turn, makes you miss them more than you could’ve ever thought imaginable. You hear of little things that happen in their day; your stomach twists in desperation. Desperation to see them, to feel them in your arms, to hear their laugh that the air carries from across the room.

It makes you want to be missed like that. You wonder if there is anyone in the world that can possibly miss you in such a way. What I'm taking away from this is the hope to be that person in another's life...

The girl that you can't go a day with out talking to; who's smile lights up the room; who has eyes that dance in joy and mystery; who has a heart big enough for the world to live in, and who has ears that connect with the heart to share in life's joy, pain and randomness.

full of spirit

Today was the last spirit Friday, specifically for Seniors.

Seniors 2008. WE'RE ROCKIN OUTTA HERE!

Lots of discouragement, even more Senioritus

It's safe to say that Senioritus is kicking my butt. Graduation is a mere two weeks away, so close I can almost taste it. But you know how you when you eat cake and you have to eat the frosting to get to the yummy filling? I'm eating the frosting right now and it's bitter and gross. Let's just be done. kapeish? if only it were that easy! I have a 15 page screenplay due on friday and i'm on page 9, handwritten. it's supposed to be 20+ handwritten. So much for sleeping tomorrow night! anyway...
on a higher note, the guard banquet was lovely. and tonight was so amusing at starbucks. the senior banquet is tomorrow night, and that'll be fun. lets root for the laptop, mmkay?
AND...
I was informed on monday that i'll be taking a trip to South Carolina to see my BFF in the beginning of june. best part is, my layover is in Dallas for 2 hours. thank god for familiar airports! i'm super excited. she has no idea i'm even coming! mmmm.

yay for ending things happily.

last but not least....prom pictures.

Quite the lady, I know, but I couldn't resist!

I felt famous :]

My "date". Aka- neighbor best friend, Steph

the most extraordinary best guy friend on the planet- Kurt

a random spurt of poetry

the poetry has been flying from my fingertips today, and i have NO clue where it came from. kinda scary!

Falling
A touch, a glance,
A short conversation...
That's all it took
Once again I've fallen

Your smile, your voice,
Your heart
It captivated my soul
Once again I've fallen

I tell myself not to,
But my heart says it's okay.
The heart always overrides
Once again I've fallen

It takes a fall to learn
How to brace yourself for the next time
Once again I've fallen
But now I remember how to catch myself.

Strange & New
Eyes piercing my soul
Green with evil
"I'm watching you"
Eyes I once loved,
I once knew
Still familiar to sight
Lacking depth from behind
Not making sense,
Yet a sense of knowing
Eyes that just seemed to be a part
Now have turned into the whole
A whole that I don't see.
What happens when all you see
becomes familiar to the brain,
and numb to the heart?

that's all i've got for now.