I'm blog happy tonight. Don't ask why.
Fall season took a huge toll on my emotions. Holy cow. It was hard to watch the band on the field without me, and all things like that. Well, just when I thought I'd gotten through all of that "I'm not there", rough emotional stuff, winterguard season starts.
It's going to be the death of me...Why can't the school year be over? I want it to be done so bad; I hate dealing with all of these emotions. Jealousy is a bitch, and I let it get the best of me. But some of these feelings are legit jealousy and hurt.
Current state of mind: You never did that with us when I was there. Why now?
This is so hard...So hard. I wish I could just avoid it all. I know I can't, but a girl can dream right?
I'm gonna go read a book and take my mind off all this. Hopefully that'll help. Good night everyone.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
an old piece of mine...
airplane
I couldn’t be happier. I’m fresh out of high school, ready to take on the world as me, Michelle Lynn.
My feet hit the ground running as soon as graduation was over. Decisions here and there, people that will disappear from my life forever. Like I mentioned before, I couldn’t be happier. But that was silly thinking.
Here I am, sitting on an airplane, flying to the other end of the country. It seems banal to the hoi polloi, but to me, each time feels like the first.
My nose pressed against the window,
Cool and hard at the surface.
Odd shaped buildings surround me,
Some docking planes, others lonely with emptiness.
I possess the reaction of a four year old.
My excitement is overwhelming,
The nerves still simmering in the pits of my stomach.
Speed increases,
coasting until the gravity becomes
nonexistent.
Soaring high above the world,
Oblivious to anything but the ground below.
Amused by what lies beneath.
Fascination and awe lingers in my mind,
Dancing with thrill.
My inner four year old crawls slowly
Retreating to the depths of my heart,
Until the clouds float in mystery beneath me,
Yanking the child out from within.
A child lives within everyone;
That’s how we’re the same.
Unique in how it is drawn out.
Taking flight just happens to work for me.
I’m really not at all sure where that came from. I’m sitting miles above the earth, and haven’t felt so inspired in ages. It’s the best feeling in the world. Knowing that one day, I’ll get to sit on a plane and get to do this for a living… Being inspired to write, and getting paid for it. I changed my major the other day during church, which was actually yesterday, but it feels like three centuries ago.
Clouds. What an amazing thing. I can’t even find a way to describe them. Neatly arranged, yet scattered throughout the sky. I know that doesn’t make sense or anything, but hey, a girl can dream right? I really just wanna go play on them. You know, see what they feel like. I imagine that they’re like moon bounces, or something similar to it. Like if I were to jump on one, it’d bounce. I can see my little self romping about on the clouds.
I wonder if Jesus lets you go cloud romping in Heaven? Because that would probably be the coolest thing in the whole wide world. Among other things, obviously. We could play games of leap frog, or in this instance, leap cloud. This may in fact just be me ranting on and on about life, but I don’t care. It feels so amazing to be writing again. I’ve missed it. If I could always be on an airplane like this, the possibilities for my inspiration would be endless. I guess it just goes to show what God is doing in my life.
Normally when Kevin talks in a church setting like youth group or big church or whatnot, I zone out and pretty much ignore him. Let’s face it. He gets very boring sometimes. Like really really boring. Smack my forehead boring. Anyway, since Dusty wasn’t at church yesterday and Brad is on his sabbatical, Kevin taught. It wasn’t what I would call earth-shattering, but it was still really good nonetheless. What’s interesting is that he gave us permission to zone out and just listen to what God had to say to us.
God speaks in incredible ways. I was sitting there in church, and my train of thought ended up somewhere near a reflection of my English 101 class this past fall, and all of the writing that we did. I distinctly remember getting my descriptive essay, and the feeling that I got, so I basically let go of the steering wheel of the train and let God take over. I’m astonished, amazed and awed. God is an awesome God. He put it on my heart to question why I wanted to major in business. Sure, I would be great at it, but I lack passion. I have a passion for being passionate about what I do. Obviously, I like, I mean, love, to write. Why else would I be sitting on a plane with my laptop open ready to watch a movie and end up cranking out new poetry?
The clouds are getting thinner, and becoming far and few between. It’s pretty close to being saddening. I always overlook the fact that it’s the little things like clouds that make the ride of life worthwhile.
-6.2.2008-
I couldn’t be happier. I’m fresh out of high school, ready to take on the world as me, Michelle Lynn.
My feet hit the ground running as soon as graduation was over. Decisions here and there, people that will disappear from my life forever. Like I mentioned before, I couldn’t be happier. But that was silly thinking.
Here I am, sitting on an airplane, flying to the other end of the country. It seems banal to the hoi polloi, but to me, each time feels like the first.
My nose pressed against the window,
Cool and hard at the surface.
Odd shaped buildings surround me,
Some docking planes, others lonely with emptiness.
I possess the reaction of a four year old.
My excitement is overwhelming,
The nerves still simmering in the pits of my stomach.
Speed increases,
coasting until the gravity becomes
nonexistent.
Soaring high above the world,
Oblivious to anything but the ground below.
Amused by what lies beneath.
Fascination and awe lingers in my mind,
Dancing with thrill.
My inner four year old crawls slowly
Retreating to the depths of my heart,
Until the clouds float in mystery beneath me,
Yanking the child out from within.
A child lives within everyone;
That’s how we’re the same.
Unique in how it is drawn out.
Taking flight just happens to work for me.
I’m really not at all sure where that came from. I’m sitting miles above the earth, and haven’t felt so inspired in ages. It’s the best feeling in the world. Knowing that one day, I’ll get to sit on a plane and get to do this for a living… Being inspired to write, and getting paid for it. I changed my major the other day during church, which was actually yesterday, but it feels like three centuries ago.
Clouds. What an amazing thing. I can’t even find a way to describe them. Neatly arranged, yet scattered throughout the sky. I know that doesn’t make sense or anything, but hey, a girl can dream right? I really just wanna go play on them. You know, see what they feel like. I imagine that they’re like moon bounces, or something similar to it. Like if I were to jump on one, it’d bounce. I can see my little self romping about on the clouds.
I wonder if Jesus lets you go cloud romping in Heaven? Because that would probably be the coolest thing in the whole wide world. Among other things, obviously. We could play games of leap frog, or in this instance, leap cloud. This may in fact just be me ranting on and on about life, but I don’t care. It feels so amazing to be writing again. I’ve missed it. If I could always be on an airplane like this, the possibilities for my inspiration would be endless. I guess it just goes to show what God is doing in my life.
Normally when Kevin talks in a church setting like youth group or big church or whatnot, I zone out and pretty much ignore him. Let’s face it. He gets very boring sometimes. Like really really boring. Smack my forehead boring. Anyway, since Dusty wasn’t at church yesterday and Brad is on his sabbatical, Kevin taught. It wasn’t what I would call earth-shattering, but it was still really good nonetheless. What’s interesting is that he gave us permission to zone out and just listen to what God had to say to us.
God speaks in incredible ways. I was sitting there in church, and my train of thought ended up somewhere near a reflection of my English 101 class this past fall, and all of the writing that we did. I distinctly remember getting my descriptive essay, and the feeling that I got, so I basically let go of the steering wheel of the train and let God take over. I’m astonished, amazed and awed. God is an awesome God. He put it on my heart to question why I wanted to major in business. Sure, I would be great at it, but I lack passion. I have a passion for being passionate about what I do. Obviously, I like, I mean, love, to write. Why else would I be sitting on a plane with my laptop open ready to watch a movie and end up cranking out new poetry?
The clouds are getting thinner, and becoming far and few between. It’s pretty close to being saddening. I always overlook the fact that it’s the little things like clouds that make the ride of life worthwhile.
-6.2.2008-
Hello, blog. Remember me?
Wow. I've had such good intentions of posting things on here for oh, a month or two. I'm so completely behind. Life has kept me busy! Where to start, where to start?
School. I'm back at NAU and in my second semester. I love it more this semester than last. My roommate chose to move to a different part of camps, leaving me with my own room. I can't complain much! I recently added my name and pictures to the biggest wall, and love it. I'm happy with the way it turned out! As of now, I'm still majoring in Journalism. I think it'll change for next year though. I really want to come out of college making more than $8,000. As of now, I'm considering Hotel and Restaurant Management. I would be in it for the event planning aspect. I don't want to be a typical college student that majors in business. That just isn't me. I've never been typical, and don't want to be typical.
Last week, I submitted my application for a Residence Assistant (RA) and had my first interview this morning. I'm confident that it went well and that my Wednesday letter will inform me that I have a second round interview next weekend. Perks aside, I think I'd do a great job with the position. The perks are lovely though--free room and board, and meals. That's more than tuition right there. So keep that one in your prayers.
I've found a "church" to belong to up here. It's called InterVarsity, and is like youth group for college students. We meet once a week in the science building and do worship, listen to a speaker and grow in our faith. I've made some awesome friends through this and have also become stronger in my beliefs. I'm so thankful that God has been blessing this semester! Through IV, I've found a girls Bible study that I attend Monday evenings. Getting to know a new group of people on an entirely new level has been truly amazing. I have really gotten to know more people this semester, and I'm so happy. Last semester I was kind of a loner.
One of my middle school friends, Beth is also attending NAU. She and I were real close in middle school, and though we kept in touch through high school, we have become close again this semester. She and I have always gotten along real well. We go to Zumba (the most amazing workout class I've ever taken-- it's high cardio dance, and it's incredible-- my hips never moved the way do now!) together, as well as IV.
I know one of you was bound to ask, so I figured I may as well adress it:
Romance Life. I don't have one. There have been a few potential guys, but nothing really worked out. And after the most recent one, I've lost all hope in the male gender. Except Kurt. (And no, I promise, we aren't dating!) Well, and my dad. My brother is questionable though...He's a high school boy. Let's readress him when he's a bit older, shall we?
Familia! They're doing well. Busy with life, as usual. I miss them sometimes, but we all talk enough so it's okay! I'm actually talking to my Mom now. She says hi. I found out today that my cousin, Renee, is pregnant with twins. I'm so excited for her! Her and her husband have been trying for awhile, so hearing this just makes me very happy. My cousins Taylor and Zach were up here today, along with Tay's boyfriend, LT, and my Aunt. They were touring the campus, about the same time as my interview and both finished within minutes of each other. I got to spend the afternoon with them having lunch, walking around downtown Flag, and showing off my room. It was great to see them! We had a lot of fun together.
Well, this has been a rather long post. Sorry about that! An update was much needed though! :] I'm off to put on my pjs and make some dinner. Have a lovely Saturday ya'll.
-M-
School. I'm back at NAU and in my second semester. I love it more this semester than last. My roommate chose to move to a different part of camps, leaving me with my own room. I can't complain much! I recently added my name and pictures to the biggest wall, and love it. I'm happy with the way it turned out! As of now, I'm still majoring in Journalism. I think it'll change for next year though. I really want to come out of college making more than $8,000. As of now, I'm considering Hotel and Restaurant Management. I would be in it for the event planning aspect. I don't want to be a typical college student that majors in business. That just isn't me. I've never been typical, and don't want to be typical.
Last week, I submitted my application for a Residence Assistant (RA) and had my first interview this morning. I'm confident that it went well and that my Wednesday letter will inform me that I have a second round interview next weekend. Perks aside, I think I'd do a great job with the position. The perks are lovely though--free room and board, and meals. That's more than tuition right there. So keep that one in your prayers.
I've found a "church" to belong to up here. It's called InterVarsity, and is like youth group for college students. We meet once a week in the science building and do worship, listen to a speaker and grow in our faith. I've made some awesome friends through this and have also become stronger in my beliefs. I'm so thankful that God has been blessing this semester! Through IV, I've found a girls Bible study that I attend Monday evenings. Getting to know a new group of people on an entirely new level has been truly amazing. I have really gotten to know more people this semester, and I'm so happy. Last semester I was kind of a loner.
One of my middle school friends, Beth is also attending NAU. She and I were real close in middle school, and though we kept in touch through high school, we have become close again this semester. She and I have always gotten along real well. We go to Zumba (the most amazing workout class I've ever taken-- it's high cardio dance, and it's incredible-- my hips never moved the way do now!) together, as well as IV.
I know one of you was bound to ask, so I figured I may as well adress it:
Romance Life. I don't have one. There have been a few potential guys, but nothing really worked out. And after the most recent one, I've lost all hope in the male gender. Except Kurt. (And no, I promise, we aren't dating!) Well, and my dad. My brother is questionable though...He's a high school boy. Let's readress him when he's a bit older, shall we?
Familia! They're doing well. Busy with life, as usual. I miss them sometimes, but we all talk enough so it's okay! I'm actually talking to my Mom now. She says hi. I found out today that my cousin, Renee, is pregnant with twins. I'm so excited for her! Her and her husband have been trying for awhile, so hearing this just makes me very happy. My cousins Taylor and Zach were up here today, along with Tay's boyfriend, LT, and my Aunt. They were touring the campus, about the same time as my interview and both finished within minutes of each other. I got to spend the afternoon with them having lunch, walking around downtown Flag, and showing off my room. It was great to see them! We had a lot of fun together.
Well, this has been a rather long post. Sorry about that! An update was much needed though! :] I'm off to put on my pjs and make some dinner. Have a lovely Saturday ya'll.
-M-
Monday, January 12, 2009
Slacker, much?
Hello my loves...
I realize that I haven't posted on here in quite some time.
I promise that it will change. Hopefully tomorrow!
A life update will be coming this way verrry soon.
Bear with me. Second semester just started.
I love you all dearly!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
thoughts on college, among other things
Allow me to just say that right now, I should be sleeping because I have to register for classes at 7am. But bed just so is not happening right now. So what better thing to do than to post a nice heart-felt blog?
College is hard, man, especially in terms of relationships. Goodness gracious. Classes are starting to take a toll on me too. But really. It's crazy to think about how many of my friendships have been forever changed because I left Phoenix and moved up here. I think it was the best choice I could've ever made. Yeah, I miss some of them. Moving has made me realize who my true friends are. I still have most of them. People that I really didn't care much for aren't in my life right now, and it feels great no matter how horrible it sounds. It's like that song by Tracy Lawrence:
You find out who your friends are
Somebody's gonna drop everything
Run out and crank up their car
Hit the gas, get there fast
Never stop to think 'what's in it for me?' or 'it's way too far'
They just show on up with their big old heart
You find out who your friends are
That is just the chorus. Now, not everything in it has literal meaning, but you get the idea. I know that all I have to do is make a call, and everything described above will happen. I know it, know it know it. As I was saying. College is hard. I miss Megan so much, and am glad that she'll be closer to me now.
In terms of classes, you just gotta keep reminding yourself...In a month this will all be over. Good feeling, knowing that cause now it's just a matter of getting there. We have two full weeks of classes left, with it being almost Friday, and then a short week for Thanksgiving (the music video for the song above just started playing and I about jumped across the room---just thought I'd share!). We finish off with Finals Week. It's close... I can almost taste it!
I realized that I hadn't posted pictures in awhile. So I think it's time!
These are from NAU Band Day:
These are from NAU Band Day:
Steph and myself. Miss her!
Kurtis. Nuff said.
Mel and I with our tickets. [Yep, the munchkin is taller than me. I'm officially the shortest of us kids. Oh well!]
Outside Jobing.com with the fountains.I love this picture of us!
Taken from where our seats were. The stage was amazingly close!I think I'm done for now.
Good night loves!
Good night loves!
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
why, why, why?
I'm still not entirely sure why I do this to myself.
But it's gotta stop now, before it gets worse.
But it's gotta stop now, before it gets worse.
Otherwise, I may not have a heart to give, cause he's already stolen it from me.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
nau band day 2008
Last night was the very first time I'd been at NAU and not performing on the field, and I was perfectly okay with that.
The band delivered an incredible performance. I am so proud to say that I marched in that band for four years. They've risen above and beyond this year. It isn't the same band I saw three weeks ago at North Canyon. Wow. Their performance left me speechless. I couldn't be more happy for the people in that band that I care so much about.
I got to see my "second family" before they performed last night, as well as seeing my actual family. Mom, Dad, Mel, Jessie and Granma drove up yesterday afternoon, and we spent the day getting my winter coat and boots. We had a lot of fun. I love and miss them.
I hit pure nirvana after the performance though, when we were back at the buses. Alie and Kurt make me smile like nobody else can. Seeing them and spending time with them before they got on the bus to go home was hands down the highlight of my week. I love them so much!
Yesterday was amazing; I can't wait to spend all of next weekend with them, as well as share my birthday with them!
Alie and Kurtis---I love ya!
The band delivered an incredible performance. I am so proud to say that I marched in that band for four years. They've risen above and beyond this year. It isn't the same band I saw three weeks ago at North Canyon. Wow. Their performance left me speechless. I couldn't be more happy for the people in that band that I care so much about.
I got to see my "second family" before they performed last night, as well as seeing my actual family. Mom, Dad, Mel, Jessie and Granma drove up yesterday afternoon, and we spent the day getting my winter coat and boots. We had a lot of fun. I love and miss them.
I hit pure nirvana after the performance though, when we were back at the buses. Alie and Kurt make me smile like nobody else can. Seeing them and spending time with them before they got on the bus to go home was hands down the highlight of my week. I love them so much!
Yesterday was amazing; I can't wait to spend all of next weekend with them, as well as share my birthday with them!
Alie and Kurtis---I love ya!
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